What Not To Say

On the day I posted my last blog, I read a new post by The Blasphemous Homemaker (go check her out!)

Apparently, she has a friend with depression who was honest and had posted on Facebook about what was going on in his life. But FB being what it is, he apparently was immediately bombarded with support, advice and criticism. (really?!) Sadly, the poor gentleman isn’t the only one who’s heard a lot of these responses.

So I’m latching onto her post and continuing on with my own ‘shit you don’t say to a depressed person’.

But 1^st, I do have to say, I loved that she changed ‘depression’ to ‘arthritis’ to make a point that it seems to be a common attitude for most people to think of depression as something you can ‘just get over if you want to’ vs. the disease that it is.

On that note, sunrises, funny movies or any other ‘happy’ activity is not a cure. Yes, I feel inspired spending time with nature and would much rather watch a Seth Rogen movie than a Tarantino thing. Once over, though, the world comes crashing back –maybe it’s why I get way into movies and plays.

But like so many tv shows or lifetime movies present, getting cheered up will lead to happiness and once the person laughs, it will all be fine again – roll credits. No, I liken my issue to a rollercoaster where I can be up for a while but almost immediately fly down again.

Almost insulting is the advice that prayer, going to church or turning to Jesus will cure me. We’ll just keep moving past that one.

A great one: it could be worse. Yes, thank you – life can always get worse. Now I’ll dwell on that for a few days. Or maybe, of course, things could be worse, what the hell am I bitching about, thanks, I’m better now! (Sarcasm just doesn’t work being typed out.)

Alright, I’m stopping there. I just wanted to draw a little attention to the other blog and the issue.

I’m not sure what the right answers are to all of these, but I know I feel better just knowing that there are people near me (though maybe not physically) that are just supportive and loving. I try to hang on to the feeling I get from them.

Welcome to the Madhouse

Imagine one day you’re walking down a sidewalk and across the street you see a good friend. You wave, but they have they’re head down and continue on without even looking up. What’s your reaction?

Alright, things haven’t been well for a while. I’ve been depressed, angry and more than a little frustrated. I try to get past it and cheer up for a while or at least find the positive in things, but something else comes along and knocks me down again.

Mostly my thoughts seem to be scattered – hence the non-posting (I actually have a folder of blog beginnings, then just don’t finish or post). I’m trying some self-help type books, which is where that opening scenario came from (more on that later). Bits seem to help… or at least gave me ideas to think about. Then there is the St John’s Wart which was suggested that seems to help calm to rage for a while.

It hasn’t helped that my once loved job has turned all sorts of sucky (it’s a word!), property taxes almost wiped me out, the house still hasn’t sold and on a similar note, I’m averaging 60 hours a week but yet barely making ends meet. Oh, and an overbearing aunt keeps coming to stay with us for a few days every other week and in 2 weeks, she’ll be moving in for ‘a while’. I might truly go mad at that point. (At least crazy people seem content.)

So welcome to my journey through this madness.

And the story? It was to show how people perceive a situation. What was your impression? Did the friend have other things on their mind? Did they just not notice you? Anything other than: “they’re obviously ignoring me, I’ve done something wrong and now I’ve lost a friend. Fine, I’m alone, move on.” That was my only read into the story –the other ideas hadn’t even occurred to me until pointed out in the following paragraph.

So it turns out I’m not alone in thinking like that and struggling to get past it.

I just don’t know if that makes it better or worse.

2010

Alright, it’s been 3 years today. My father went away and my life took a turn. I won’t say for the worse…or for the better. Frankly, I’m in sort of limbo area still.

Things have slowly become better and fallen into a routine. My job is stable and recently I was given a bonus, got employee of the year and nominated for employee of the year for the nation. (I made it into the top 24, but not the top 8 to get a trip to FL). Yay!... aw… :)

Other than that, I’m getting so tired of the life in my old home town and living in a one bedroom space.

I know possessions are really so important, but damn it, I’m really tired of saying “it’s in storage” and not seeing the majority of my belongings in almost 3 years. I guess it means when I finally do get everything back, I’m going to have one hell of a garage sale since obviously I don’t need most of these things.

But today, I’m thinking about Dad and I’d like to share another story with you that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

The year we first learned of Dad’s insane green thumb: We’d just moved to a house of our own (before that, we lived in apartments or townhouses) and had a very large yard. Dad was really excited and planned a large veggie garden. He made rows for each vegetable and went to planting. After stopping my sister/helper who was following along picking up each seed he dropped, he made each row. The issue was, he thought, ‘one seed, one tomato’ and sowed several seeds for plants. The plants came up, and choked out the rest of the patch. We had a tomato garden that year. And every person who came to the door, no matter the reason, got a bag of tomatoes. It did start the tradition of making vats of spaghetti sauce which we froze in the deep freeze to last all winter. He then got things under control, but never the green thumb. We had foot-long cucumbers, pumpkins which grew up the corn stalks, sunflowers taller than the shed, and of course thousands of tomatoes. One year, he made tiered flower beds and ‘wrote’ each of our names out in colored marigolds then wrote our family name across the front of the yard. We had so many people drive by and stop to look that year (and Dad would spend a lot of time outside, we think, just to be there to talk with them).

It still continued, even after we moved, and he established the landscaping around the current house now to the point of not needing much work other than cleaning out the beds each year. As I discovered the first Spring after moving back – the whole year burst into life on its own. It’s one of the things I’d miss greatly about selling the house. I hope I can channel some of his skill and take cuttings of two flowering bushes he brought up from his own childhood home (in MS) and was able to keep up here

I also have decided that it would be better not to ever drive by just in case it’s all been changed. It was something he was so proud of and loved dearly and put so much effort into, I would hate to lose it, too.

Bring on the Remakes

Have you heard said before: “all the original ideas are gone”? If you look around at everything in pop culture today, it would seem that’s true.

TV – (45% of them some crime drama, 45% of them some reality show, 10% some other crap) you can only make fun of reality people for so long, recycling old shows with day-long marathons of everything …way to stay green, I guess?

Books – ok, I’ve already ranted about Fifty Shades of Grey, and I don’t want to go into the Seth Grahame-Smith books. Oiy! (ok, I did kind of like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter)

Movies – ideas…ideas…ideas… oh, a comic book!, no! wait! Remember how fun playing boards games was as a kid??? (I really want to see a Monopoly the Movie – oh, [insert political joke] nevermind) How about those old shows we watched every week? Let’s make one really long episode that has no real connection with the show we loved.

So, now I’m going to fall in line with the crowd (baaaa!) and come up with my list of remakes, rip-offs, regurgitations I’d actually like to see.

First, up: The Wizard of Oz – I know it’s sacrilege to suggest there could ever be an improvement of the classic Judy Garland, but I think we have the technology now to do it. It would be interesting to see what someone now would do with the story. (And yes, I’ve seen the preview for that new Disney movie, but that’s one of the other Oz books, not this one…. Stop calling that a remake people, and read your homework.)

Pillow Talk – which was sort of remade/parodied as Down With Love, but I’d like to see a modern take on it.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers – guys, you make skip ahead or go off and do guy things… Now, I love this musical! I would love to see it remade as it would have been originally, if the studio hadn’t given all the money to something else being made at the time. It was meant to be filmed outdoors in Oregon over the course of a year, just as the story follows.

With the new Broadway versions, I’d like to a remakes of Mary Poppins & 9 to 5 - based on the stage show much like the newer version of Hairspray (very different from the stage version which was very different from the original movie – but all 3 are great!)

While we’re remaking musicals, how about Guys & Dolls, My Fair Lady, and Flower Drum Song? There are already very good movie versions of these, but an updated take with actors who are actually singing for themselves would be nice.

There have been many versions already, but I would love to see a version of the Jane of Lantern Hill & Little Princess which actually follows the book. (Well, there are so many that I could say that about …erm, Treasure Island, Little Women, Harry Potter.)

So would you love to see a modern take on your favorites or do you think the classics should stand on their own?