A somewhat recent, late night conversation centered around the issue of giving things away to others. What’s appropriate? How to go about it? Why do some people get offended (hey, it’s free stuff, right?)? Well, everything we discussed has been circling around in my head ever since. Especially relevant since I sit here typing in the middle of the night on a new, incredible gift from my ‘sister from another mister’.
I know how hard it is for some people to accept large gifts, even from the closest friends. They might feel awkward that they can’t reciprocate, and because of that, I…I mean, they sometimes feel like the ‘poor, country relation’. Personally, in the past, I have found a little relief from that particular feeling by being able to create one-of-kind artsy gifts. But in this current situation, this friend is very artsy and gifted in her own right. So how could it be re-paid?
But as came up in the conversation, these gifts are given with an open hand, and therefore nothing is expected nor wanted in return. It’s just something that was needed that the giver had the ability to provide. Wouldn’t it be a nice world if everyone’s hearts were that open?
Now, I don’t mean everyone should just get everything they want without working for it. I mean the things that are not-quite needed, like a new netbook, which yes, was obtainable (eventually), but still very wanted and useful. And the money can now be better spent on really needful things. (Or saved for something Very Useful…like a big move :D )
So, you have a friendly heart, & you have the means to help out someone close, but now you wonder how to go about it. Well, aside from tricking the person into not being able to say no after a three-plus-hour discussion on how to give a large gift to a family member ;D , the simplest way to make the gift easier to accept would be to use a common gift-giving celebration such as holidays or a birthday. But maybe a simple round-about giving, perhaps through a 2nd party. But why such trickery? Because, as it turns out, even the simplest form of give-aways (the giving of old stuff) is met with offense. It’s not like their actually giving you trash from the bin, just something that you happened to have a use for that they no don’t need any longer. Now, I actually have less of a problem with this, because it’s just going to Goodwill or a garage sale anyway – so skip the middle man and take what’s given with a thankful heart that you have a caring, sharing friend…who has cooler stuff than you.
Okay, well, those are some of my recent fixations.
Conclusions:
Giving is good, but awkward.
Receiving is nice, but awkward. So we’re even.
Both are helped along with the attitude of the giver (don’t be snarky, or snobby…you’re helping, not showing off) and the receiver (they aren’t showing off, you aren’t the poor relation and simply be thankful that you have someone who loves you enough to want to do something so nice).
P.S. THANK YOU SO MUCH, SUGAR L.T.! ;x I’m still in shock.
